Booker DeWitt (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wipeawaythedebt) wrote2014-12-30 11:45 pm
wipeawaythedebt) wrote2014-12-30 11:45 pm
Entry tags:
Have Yourself a Merry Little Day or Trhee After Christmas
He spends the first few days back in a bottle, wracked with guilt and pain unlike anything he's ever felt. But it doesn't help. The memories, fresh as if they had happened last week instead of twenty years ago, won't leave him alone and here in Darrow there just isn't anywhere left to run. There aren't any wars to go off and fight, and while the temptation to hit the tables or see if he can't pick a fight in a bar somewhere is strong, he resists it. She wouldn't want him to.
Elizabeth.
Anna.
Two sides of the same coin and he's the one that had set them spinning. It was his doing, all of it. He sold his daughter to a man who promised her a better life than the one Booker could give and the man had been a monster. Comstock locked his little girl in a tower, treated her like an experiment and tried to make her his... sacrificial lamb or whatever the hell Comstock had planned. Booker still hasn't figured that out. There's nothing he can do to ever fix that.
But he has to start somewhere. For whatever it's worth, he is her father. And he had been planning on getting her something for the holiday before everything had gone so crazy. So today, even though it's after Christmas, he's standing at her door, freshly showered and shaved with a small package in his hands. Only he can't bring himself to knock. She'd made it perfectly clear when she moved out that she was done with him and after that whole mess back in New York she might hate him even more now. He doesn't blame her. He hates himself quite a bit these days. So in the end, he leans over and sets the wrapped gift near the doorframe and turns to leave.
Best if he's not here when she finds it.
Elizabeth.
Anna.
Two sides of the same coin and he's the one that had set them spinning. It was his doing, all of it. He sold his daughter to a man who promised her a better life than the one Booker could give and the man had been a monster. Comstock locked his little girl in a tower, treated her like an experiment and tried to make her his... sacrificial lamb or whatever the hell Comstock had planned. Booker still hasn't figured that out. There's nothing he can do to ever fix that.
But he has to start somewhere. For whatever it's worth, he is her father. And he had been planning on getting her something for the holiday before everything had gone so crazy. So today, even though it's after Christmas, he's standing at her door, freshly showered and shaved with a small package in his hands. Only he can't bring himself to knock. She'd made it perfectly clear when she moved out that she was done with him and after that whole mess back in New York she might hate him even more now. He doesn't blame her. He hates himself quite a bit these days. So in the end, he leans over and sets the wrapped gift near the doorframe and turns to leave.
Best if he's not here when she finds it.
no subject
But it hadn't, and she was still Elizabeth, as much as the name would always be attached to so much pain. She idly scratched behind Oliver's ears, the motion keeping her grounded as she tried to think of what she wanted to say. How she wanted to say it.
"What you did to me - I don't know how anyone could do that to their own daughter," she started, wanting to make it clear it didn't hurt her deeply. To know all her pain had started because her father abandoned her - it wasn't something she simply could forget overnight. After exhaling a slow breath, she continued, "But you came back for me. Even - even if you didn't know why. I don't - I don't know what's in the future for us, but -"
She looked away as she said the next part, unable to quite hold his gaze.
"I've lost so much. Too much. I don't - I don't know how to be your daughter, but I'd like to see you more than every few months," she explained. She didn't regret leaving, not one moment, but the fight had gone on long enough. "...If you really want things to change between us, I'm willing to try to start fresh."
no subject
He doesn't even know what to say to any of that. Doesn't know if he should be happy or terrified she's given him the opportunity to disappoint her again. He'll just have to keep his shit together this time. Remember what, who, is important to him and why. No more forgetting, no more pushing the memories down and thankfully without Columbia's tears and the Luteces' manipulations he should be able to keep everything where it is. As hard as it is to remember, it's probably better this way, for both of them.
As for the future, "I don't expect you to forget, Elizabeth, kinda surprised you even opened the door for me, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna have it slammed in my face again. Your Ma'd probably come back an haunt me if I did that." It's another thought that tears at him, that his precious Annabelle would never see the strong, stubborn girl she'd left behind.
Surprisingly, he finds himself wiping a tear from his eye at the thought. "She'd be so damn proud of you, Elizabeth and you're so much like her..." He can't quite finish the thought.